(30) Days of Goodbye
by Blue Penguin Lightning
Summary: Beck doesn't want to say goodbye to Jade…at least not in the traditional sense. Written for Mad's Bade Prompts


Disclaimer: Seriously, do I look like Dan? I'm not. Enough said.

Author's Note: On tumblr, I saw the Mad was holding prompts and I decided to give this fandom one more go. My prompt was: One character is infected with a deadly disease. He/she has either a. one day, 2. a month, or 3. a year to live.

So this will be my last piece for this fandom. It's a decision that I didn't take lightly, but it's been roughly six months in the making so it's had some serious time to weigh. I'm always going to be grateful for everyone in the fandom, for the support, for the lessons I've learned, but this is where we part ways. I'll still be writing, even some fanfiction, just not for Victorious. You can still contact me through here or twitter or tumblr.

In this piece, you will find little Easter eggs to shows I love, movies that mean the world to me, even a particular character some of you might remember (but I don't mention their name). I hope you guys will enjoy this piece. I put a lot of work into it and it's really special.

Also, a huge HUGE thank you to Bria who I must have pestered with the amount of messages I sent her and I'm really sorry about that, but thank you for going over this with me!

And remember: normal's boring.

* * *

**Day 1. The Fight**

Beck Oliver sat on his bed, his head in his hands. How had it come to this? How come there was nothing any doctor could do to fix this? Make it better? He knew this was inevitable, but now there wasn't even time to delay it further.

The end was coming.

And there was nothing anyone could do about it.

Beck had spent the last several hours in his RV, with tears running down his face. He hadn't exactly been crying but he didn't hold the tears back. His life was being cut short and while he realized it was just his life that was ending, it was going to drastically change other lives too.

It was going to change Jade's.

He knew that without giving it a second thought. He was probably only minutes away from telling Jade anyway. They were supposed to meet in the piano room after school to go over a piece she was working on. But Beck didn't want to go. If he went, he would have to face everyone and he couldn't do that. He didn't even want to face Jade with this life altering news.

"Oliver!"

Crunch time. It was now or never. Beck shook his head as he heard Jade fiddling with the keys to open his RV. He didn't want to tell Jade. Not now. Not ever. But delaying it was going to make it worse.

By the time Jade had made her way inside, she was fuming…and it was not going to be pretty.

"You were supposed to meet me in the piano room after school."

"I–"

"You didn't even show up today!"

"Jade," Beck tried but Jade wasn't having any of it.

"Don't Jade me!" she shouted. "Where were you?!"

Beck sighed. This wasn't going to be easy, not at all.

"I had an appointment all day," he finally admitted. It was truthful, honest. He had no reason to lie to Jade. He may not have been completely honest with her but he didn't lie to her. Not directly anyways.

"With who?"

Beck shook his head. He didn't want to answer all these questions. He just wanted Jade. He wanted to hold her, to tell her that everything would be okay, even though he wasn't sure if it really would be. Perhaps, one day, it would be. But right now, it wasn't.

"You'd be doing both of us a favor by not lying to me. You know I hate that."

"I'm not," he said softly.

Jade didn't believe him. There was something off and Jade couldn't shake it. Beck was hiding something.

"When you want to tell me the truth, call me."

And with that, Jade stalked out of the RV, slamming the door in the process. It echoed loudly in Beck's ears.

"But I can't bear to tell you the truth," he whispered to himself.

And he didn't want to tell her the truth at all, especially not through a text message. But sometimes that was the only way to get through to Jade.

_Jade, I'm dying._

And those three words, he was sure, would completely shatter Jade's world.

* * *

**Day 2. Talking**

Jade spent the night in Beck's RV, unable to say a word. Every time she looked at Beck, tears pooled behind her eyes. A few even managed to escape and slide down her red, practically puffy cheeks, which had been that way since she read the life altering text.

Beck didn't know what to do for Jade. The reality of the situation was that there was no way to fix the issue at hand. Beck was going to die. Beck was dying. Every minute, he was closer to it.

"So what is it?" she finally asked, her voice barely audible.

"It's uh…it's a rare heart condition. I don't really know how to explain to you but it's all in the files they gave me."

"How long?"

"Jade, I…no."

"How long?" she pressed. How long did she had left? This wasn't just Beck's burden to suffer through. It was hers too.

"Maybe a month or so. They're surprised I've made it this long. I'm not sure exactly how long though."

Jade looked up at her boyfriend, only to see that his eyes were also filled with tears. But whether those were tears due to the fact he was dying or tears that his girlfriend was in pain, he didn't know. Maybe it was both.

"It's not fair," Jade whispered. "Why does it have to be you?"

Under any other circumstances, Jade's voice would be laced with anger. But the fact that she could even speak without breaking into a sob was a miracle right now.

"I know," Beck replied softly. "I know."

"It's not fair!" she screamed. "It's not supposed to be you!"

Without giving it a second thought, Beck wrapped his arm tightly around Jade, mostly to prevent her from going off the deep end. He honestly thought Jade would fight against him, but all she did was sob into his shoulder.

"Why didn't you tell me? Why did you keep it from me?" she questioned.

"Because I didn't want you to worry you. They thought they could fix it. I did. But they can't."

"Why?"

Beck shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know."

"You don't why you kept it from me?"

"No. I don't know why they can't fix it."

"So what now?"

Beck tucked Jade's hair behind her eyes and kissed her softly. "I don't want to think about it. I know it's gonna happen and I can't do anything about that. What I want…I don't want to say goodbye so I want you to have good memories, things you can look back on and smile. I want to be there with you, even when I'm not. Okay?"

Jade sniffled but still managed to nod her head.

"When do we start?"

* * *

**Day 3. Open When…**

Beck spent the next morning (and part of the night before) writing letters to Jade, for her to open at the appropriate points in her life that he was going to miss and should be celebrated. Among them was "when you win your first Tony" and "when you fall in love again" and "when you don't think you can make it any more". Beck wanted to make sure he hit every moment Jade might have and be there with her in spirit. There was plenty about her to celebrate.

And there were going to be plenty of moments in which Jade was going to need support. Beck took his time writing the last letter of the batch, which would ironically be the first letter would open. When he was done, he wrote:

_Open when…_

_I'm gone_

Beck couldn't believe he had written those words. He didn't want to think that he was going away but it sounded better than writing "I'm dead." He was still trying to come to terms with everything but the reality was that no amount of time could prepare him, or prepare Jade, for his death.

Next to his fish tank was a small box, barely big enough to hold twenty letters. But that's all it had to hold. These would be for Jade, just not for a while. He locked it and stashed it in his car, in the glove box. Jade would be arriving shortly.

Sure enough, less than ten minutes later, Jade's car was put in park outside the RV. Beck could hear the music blaring, despite the fact Jade kept her windows rolled up. But when Jade didn't come in, Beck knew something was wrong, and it had to be more than the news that shattered their worlds.

Outside, Jade was sitting in her car, her hands tightly grasping the steering wheel, even though the car was off. Beck knocked on the window. No response.

"Do you want to come inside?" he asked.

Jade looked at Beck, eyes red and puffy. She had been crying; that much was obvious, even if Jade would never admit it.

"Hey, look at me," he said softly. When Jade didn't, Beck turned her face towards his. "Jade?"

Jade felt like she was gasping for air as she looked at him. "I can't say goodbye. Not to you. I can't. You…no."

She crashed forward against Beck, trying to find his pulse to give her peace of mind. Beck nearly lost his footing, but he wasn't about to let Jade fall. He might have crashed to his knees of the gravl

"Shh. It's not goodbye; it's a long time apart from each other," he corrected her. "But it'll never be goodbye."

"But you're still leaving me."

He didn't know how to be strong for Jade. Jade needed him, probably now more than ever.

"I can't do this. I can't do this without you Beck."

Jade couldn't hold her sob back. She couldn't hold it back anymore. Beck wrapped his hand around hers and squeezed tightly.

"No. Jade, if you start crying, I will too, and neither of us will stop and I don't want to spend our days like that."

He wiped the tears away from her eyes delicately, doing everything in his power to elicit a smile from her.

"I love you," she whispered. "So much."

"And I love you too. No more tears. You've got to be strong for me."

That made Jade smile. It was usually her that needed Beck and for him to need her, it was like the tables were turned.

"Okay. So what did you want to do today?"

"I want to make a list of things to do with you."

"That sounds like a bucket list."

"Yeah. But I need it. I need it for you. I want you to have all these…I want you to have fantastic memories of me…of us. Name something you want us to do. Together."

"Like what?"

"Well, I know I want to make smores with you."

Jade looked at Beck like he had lost his mind. Smores? Really?

"Then I want to have breakfast for dinner. Maybe even cover you in syrup because I can. If you don't need a reason, I don't either."

"Alright. And um…definitely spaghetti one night."

"With meatballs?" Jade asked softly.

"Of course. What else?"

"I don't know."

"That's okay."

"No it's not."

"Yeah it is. It lets us be spontaneous."

"I don't like spontaneity."

"No, you don't like being predictable. I know you."

"Okay, maybe I like to be a little spontaneous."

For the first time that night, Jade smiled. And that was exactly how Beck wanted it. He wanted to see Jade happy.

Later that night, sometime after Jade left, Beck drove up to his favorite cliff that overlooked Los Angeles and gave him the perfect view of the Hollywood sign. It hit him that he was never going to achieve what he wanted with his life. But at the same time, he knew Jade would. Jade was going to make her dreams come true and that seemed to be enough for him.

But that was going to be some time in the future and Jade was going to need time and maybe even some prodding and support along the way. Beck put his car in park and retrieved the bundle of letters he had stashed into a smaller box that currently resided in his glove box.

At the edge of the cliff was a tree. This tree was special. This was where Beck had told Jade that he loved her for the first time. The box was just small enough to fit into the hole that Beck had been carving into the tree when he was first diagnosed two years ago. It took some maneuvering, but Beck managed to placed the locked box inside the tree.

"You'll need these soon enough," he whispered. "You'll know when though."

* * *

**Day 4. Embracing**

Sometimes the powerful thing to say isn't said with words. Actions can very well speak louder than words. Such was the case with Beck and Jade.

Beck knew that Jade loved him.

Jade knew that Beck loved her.

So being in each other's embrace…the most simplistic action spoke volumes of their relationships.

They didn't talk about what was to come or what to do after the fact. The inevitable still lurked in the back of their minds.

But deep down, Jade had managed to push enough of it away and just enjoy Beck and his presence. She enjoyed the way his arm draped over her stomach and held her close to him. She felt safe, almost at peace, knowing that in that moment, all that mattered was that Beck was there, with her.

And for Beck, being with Jade felt normal. It was like another day for him. Feeling Jade's breathing as she spooned against him, he felt like he was on top of the world. This is how he wanted to remember Jade: happy, peaceful…perfect.

It was made even more perfect when Jade wrapped her free arm tightly around Beck's free one.

And that's all they did, all day. They lied in bed…tightly wound in each other's embrace.

* * *

**Day 5. Pillow Fights**

Jade thought the list was going to be a stupid idea. The ideas was silly, practically pointless, but when Beck announced that today was going to be pillow fighting day, and she was greeted with a pillow to the face, seeing the smile on Beck made it all worth it. Of course, she couldn't help but return the favor. He couldn't have _all_ the fun.

"Hiding behind the fish tank is not going to save you, Oliver," Jade pointed out. "And I don't feel like killing your fish."

"I think my fish is already dead."

"Would you like me to make sure of it?"

Beck shook his head and threw his pillow out from behind the tank, conceding defeat. Jade had definitely won that round. Okay, Jade had won every round so far. No contest.

Jade snatched up the pillow and delivered yet another blow to Beck.

"What was that for?"

"For hiding from me. You should know better."

"Do you know how many feathers are in my hair right now?"

"What's a few more then?"

She swung the pillow at Beck, letting more feathers fly free. Beck's RV was a wonderland of freefalling feathers. Usually, Jade would be appalled by the amount of white in one room, but in this case, she let it slide. The colors of the feathers didn't matter. What mattered in that moment, was kicking Beck's butt at his own game.

"You know, it's not exactly fair when I can't return the favor."

Jade tossed Beck his pillow, never once losing the smirk on her face.

"Let's see you try."

But despite Beck's best efforts, Jade walloped him every single time.

Or at least he let her think so.

* * *

**Day 6. Watch the Stars**

On any other night, Jade would have thought that Beck had a death wish. Climbing to the top of his RV and then laying on it in the pitch black of night certainly did sound dangerous. But it also meant adventure, and Jade wanted to have as many as she could with Beck while she could.

"Almost there," Beck said, holding his hand out to his girlfriend, who under any other circumstances would have insisted she could do it herself. But hoisting herself onto the roof was proving to be more difficult than anticipated.

"Now I know why we never did this before," she mumbled.

"Don't worry. I won't let anything happen to you. Promise."

He didn't. Beck was the perfect gentleman, which he was practically all the time. He helped Jade to sit down and held her hand as they laid down on their backs to gaze at the stars.

"What do you think the stars actually mean?" Jade asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Why do you think there are stars?"

Beck pursed his lips. "I like to imagine they're windows to other worlds and we're just far away enough that we can't see them and they can't see us."

Jade sat up. "Really? That's what you're going with? Portals to other worlds?"

"I didn't say they were portals. I said they were windows."

"Do you think you'll end up on the other side of one of those supposed windows?"

"I don't know. But we're not going to talk about that. We're not going to talk about what's to come."

Jade sat up, propping herself with her elbows. "Does that help? Make it better."

"Not really. But dwelling on it doesn't help either."

"They're pretty. The stars."

"Not as pretty as you."

"Just pretty huh? I thought I was beautiful."

"You are."

He kissed her, just for good measure.

"You always will be."

* * *

**Day 7. Dancing**

Slow music should have brought tears to both Beck and Jade. The slow music only enhanced the mood though. In that moment, it was just them, dancing left to right. Jade had her arms wrapped around Beck. Beck had his arms around Jade's waist, guiding her with the music.

Beck loved seeing Jade like that. She wasn't trying to control things or put off a hard exterior. Jade was just herself when she was alone with Beck and that was how they both liked it.

They spent hours like that, never once complaining of needing coffee or their feet getting tired. What they needed was to have as many moments as they could.

"Step to the left, Beck," Jade said softly.

"This is my left."

"Well then my left. Step to _my_ left."

It took Beck a minute but he finally realized that Jade's left meant his right. He took a large step to the right, just to appease Jade.

"Better?"

"Thank you. I didn't want to fall on your bed," she said softly, resting her head on Beck's chest.

"I thought you liked my bed."

"It's difficult to dance with you when I'm on the bed."

"We could do a different dance in bed," Beck suggested. "If you wanted."

Jade shook her head. "I want to dance like this…like we would have if we got married. I need this."

"Then you shall have it."

* * *

**Day 8. Play it Again**

It had been a week since Beck had told Jade.

And for a week, Jade was half in denial, never wanting to believe the truth. She had tried everything to think it wasn't true, but deep down, she really did know. And nothing could comfort her, not even Beck.

In the early afternoon, Jade had locked herself in the piano room, the very same one that Beck was supposed to meet her at one week earlier. She continued to play the same song, a song that had no title but still managed to feel completely natural.

"I should have known to find you here," Beck said softly from the doorway, his arms in his jacket, momentarily startling Jade out of daze of piano notes.

Jade didn't say anything. She knew she should have been at Beck's. There was a part of her that wanted to be around Beck all the time, to never let him go. Then there's a part of her that knew it was never going to last and it made her break down every time Beck flashed in her mind.

"You okay?"

Jade shook her hand and went back to gliding her hands across the ivory and ebony keys.

"It's like you expect me to be okay after…" she started to say. She looked up at Beck.

"It's okay not to be okay."

"How is this ever supposed to be okay?" she yelled, slamming her hands down on the piano. "It's not! It never will be! And I don't know how you are…why are you so calm about this?!"

"Because thinking about it makes it worse! And I can't do that to you! I won't! You deserve to be happy."

"How am I supposed to be happy without you?"

Beck didn't have an answer for her. He should have but he didn't. Instead, he moved closer to the piano and leaned against it.

"Play it again, Jade."

Jade shook her head. While the song, or at least the action of playing it, was cathartic, it was also incredibly emotional and took all of Jade's willpower to not break down right then. How was she supposed to be happy without Beck?

"Please?"

So she did. In the end, it made Beck happy, and while it brought her to tears, she knew it made her happy, and that in turn, made her happy.

He sat down beside her, admiring the way her hands just sashayed over the keys. As she went into what Beck presumed to be the bridge, Beck started to hit a few keys on the right side of the piano, creating a vast difference in sound. Jade looked up at him as he played. It was like he had found the missing part of the sound she had been trying so hard to locate.

Beck made the song better.

Beck had made _her_ better.

How was she going to make it without him?

"Play it again, Beck. Please?" Jade asked softly.

Beck smiled. "As you wish."

* * *

**Day 9. Like or Love**

Jade hated being stuck in traffic, probably even more so since every minutes counted right now. Every second she was stuck in traffic was a second less she got to spend with Beck.

"You made it…and in record time," Beck announced sarcastically as Jade walked in the RV.

"Yeah, well, I hate traffic."

"It's a necessary evil. You know that."

"I know. So what have you been doing?" she asked. She draped her arms over his shoulders and rested her head on his left shoulder

"Watching one of your um…your old Slap videos."

"'Jade with Tots' I see."

Beck looked up at her and placed his hand on hers.

"I think you should revive your "Jade with Tots" series."

"Why?"

"So we can play like or love."

"Can't."

"Why not?"

Jade shook her head, pulling away from Beck.

"Come on. It's not like you to keep secrets from me."

Still, Jade held her ground.

"I can't keep secrets from you but you can keep them from me. Hypocrite."

"Excuse me."

"I didn't say bossy."

Jade moved Beck's laptop from his bed and straddled his hips.

"I'm not a hypocrite," she declared.

"So you're bossy then?"

"No."

"You really want to know why I can't?"

"I do."

"Well, shortly after I posted the last segment, I got a letter from the preschool, banning me from stepping foot on their premises. Apparently, taking the children away is frowned upon."

Beck nodded his head in agreement.

"Why don't we play then?" he suggested. "One last time."

"Fine. Name something you like."

"Like or love?"

Jade took a deep breath. She knew what she was going to say and she knew what the answer would be. But she still wanted to hear it.

"Love."

"You. I have since the moment I saw you…even if you did come off as abrasive. I still feel for you."

"Still hasn't lost its effect by the way."

"No?"

Jade shook her head and Beck took this as his opportunity to gently kiss Jade on the lips. He could have kissed her forever and they both knew it.

"Jade?"

"Yeah."

"Name something you love."

"You."

* * *

**Day 10. Staring**

Beck looked peaceful when he slept, which used to not bother Jade, but now she wasn't sure if he always sleeping. She never let Beck know, but every time he slept, she placed her hand in front of his mouth to make sure he was breathing. Suffice to say, she was beyond dreading what was to come.

And she loved to run a single finger over his face. Beck was hers. Every feature...every tiny imperfection, she loved it all. The tracing was done so lightly, or at least Jade thought so. She didn't want to disturb Beck but she didn't want to leave him alone either.

Not light enough though. Jade was shocked when Beck's eyes suddenly bolted open. But he wasn't angry or upset. He was curious.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Memorizing your face," she replied sadly, going back to running her fingers along his jaw line. "And knowing you by heart."

"Why?"

Jade shrugged her shoulders. She really knew the reason but she also knew that saying them would upset Beck.

"Why not?"

Beck sat up and readjusting his position on the bed so that he was sitting across from Jade.

"Well, since you're staring at me so intently, can I return the favor?"

"If you want," Jade replied, although she wasn't sure if she could handle Beck gazing at her. She didn't want to cry in front of Beck.

But as her eyes met his, she smiled. Beck knew how to make everything perfect. He always had, in his own cheesy way.

"You're pretty," he said after a few minutes.

"I know."

"Good."

* * *

**Day 11. Walk on the Beach**

Jade wasn't one for things to be overly romantic. Beck was. And somehow between them, they had come up with the most perfect compromise. They weren't sure how, but since neither party was complaining, it had to be considered a win.

So sitting underneath a large beach umbrella on a towel was the perfect agreement. It kept Jade out of the sun, and it let Beck enjoy the outdoors. But after an hour of sitting with Jade under the umbrella, Beck was itching to get out, to enjoy the sun…just not alone.

"Take off your shoes. Let's walk in the waves," he said.

"Excuse me?"

"If we're gonna walk on the beach, we have to do it barefoot. Shoes. Let's go."

Mumbling under her breath the entire time, Jade took off her flip flops and tossed them in the bag they had brought.

"I hate the way sand feels between my toes," she complained as they walked. It was gritty and stuck between her toes.

"See, I don't. Remember how the pucca fish felt when they ate all the dead skin off our feet?"

Jade had almost forgotten about that.

"And we all got sick and spent a week in the hospital."

"I had never been more scared to lose you," Beck thought back.

"Are you scared to lose me now?"

Beck sighed. "I try not to think about it."

"I can't," Jade admitted, sitting down in the ocean, allowing the waves to half submerge her.

Beck laughed.

"What's so funny? You dying isn't funny."

"You. You'll complain about sand between your toes but have no problem sitting on the edge of the ocean, where fish have peed, and letting it crash up against you?"

"Nope. I like to imagine that there are witches using the ocean as their arms and attempting to drag me down below to make human soup."

Beck shook his head and sat down next to her, draping his arm across her shoulders.

"I won't let that happen," he said.

"You never know."

Beck shook his head again.

Only his Jade.

* * *

**Day 12. Breakfast for Dinner**

Breakfast is supposedly the most important meal of the day. But since Jade was making dinner, and she was making breakfast for dinner, dinner was currently the most important meal of the day.

So far, she had succeeded in making French toast, scrambled eggs, and only barely burning the sausage. Still to go: Canadian bacon (just for Beck), fresh fruit, and biscuits.

She didn't think she would pull it together. She had been running around for the past forty three minutes like she was going crazy. Maybe she was. Slowly but surely, she pulled it together (and without burning anything else) as the doorbell rang.

As expected, Beck was leaning against the doorway as Jade opened it. However, the single rose he brought with him, was unexpected.

"For me?" Jade asked.

"Well, I don't see anyone else here."

Jade took the rose, cut off the edge of it, placed it in a vase, and then placed the vase in the middle of the table she and Beck were about to eat their breakfast off of.

"So what's for breakfast?" Beck asked.

"Dinner," Jade corrected him. "And it'll be right out."

Jade took her time getting all the food out to the patio. The last thing to come out was the French toast and syrup…but it wasn't going directly on the table. At least not all of it was.

"For you," she said, setting the French toast down in front of Beck. She stepped back and poured nearly half the bottle of syrup onto Beck's hair.

"What are you doing?!" he shouted.

Jade set down the remainder of the bottle and took her seat across from Beck.

"I told you that I wanted to pour syrup on you. I wasn't kidding."

Beck was about to shout something else when he calmly sat back down in his chair and smiled at Jade.

"Fair enough," he stated.

Jade glared back. "What are you up to? I know that smile."

"Nothing Jade West wouldn't approve of. Don't worry."

Jade couldn't help but keep an eye on Beck as they ate their dinner. Beck, however, acted like a perfect gentleman, even offering to do the dishes when they were done. But at that point, Jade had let her guard down.

Now it was perfect.

Beck picked up the plates and the bottle of syrup, flipping the lid open. As he walked around the table to pass Jade, he flipped the bottle over, allowing all the syrup to spill onto Jade.

"Beck!"

Beck smiled. "You never said I couldn't do it back."

Jade shook her head. "Cheater."

"Only with you."

* * *

**Day 13. The Key**

It took Beck nearly ten days to find the key to open the lockbox he had wedged inside the tree for Jade to find after he was gone. He knew Jade would figure out how to get in that box, one way or another, but having the key was probably going to make the process a lot easier.

The nice thing about having a somewhat organized mess was that Beck could find everything he wanted in a matter of minutes, whereas it would probably take someone else a matter of months, maybe even years to decipher his chaos. But he knew his mess. When he finally did find the key, it felt heavy in his hand.

He grabbed a small envelope from his desk and sealed the key inside. He always thought that one day he would propose to Jade. He still wanted to, but he knew that an engagement was a promise of forever and they didn't have that anymore. He didn't want to hurt Jade any more than she already was.

And for a while, he just enjoyed her company. He loved being around her. But he wanted to give it to her today. So as she started to drift off in his arms, he made his move.

"This is for you," he said softly, handing the envelope to her.

"Are you proposing to me because this really isn't going to work. Rings don't come in envelopes."

"No. That seemed a little too cliché. Open it. Besides, if I was proposing, I would have gotten down on one knee. I didn't."

Jade smiled and ripped into the enveloped. Opening them was never her forte. The last she ever expected to find was a key.

"It's like the key to your heart," she said.

"Now who's being the cheesy one?"

"Shut up. So what does it open?" she asked as she traced the grooves of the key.

"You'll see. I thought you liked riddles."

"I do. I'll know though?"

Beck nodded his head. "In time."

Jade hoped she knew exactly what that meant. Hopefully, in time, she would.

* * *

**Day 14. Versus the World**

"Keep your eyes closed," Beck sang into Jade's ears.

"It's sort of hard not to when you have them covered with your hands you know!"

"Almost there. Promise."

Jade could hear children laughing and screaming. She could wear the most random effect that she thought might have been graphics.

"Surprise!" Beck shouted, removing his hands so Jade could see where he had taken her.

"The arcade? No, we aren't children."

"We aren't adults either. Not technically," Beck countered. They were only seventeen.

"Yes, but our entertainment can't be so easily with cheap animation and out of date graphics."

Beck shook his hand and dragged Jade to the largest machine in the arcade, home to one of his absolute favorite games.

"Dance Block Party? Seriously?" she asked.

"Come on, I used to kick your butt at this."

"Yes, when we were thirteen."

"Afraid to take me on?"

"No."

"Let's go then," Beck taunted. "There's no way you can beat me at this."

"You're going to be eating those words soon enough."

In the beginning, Beck and Jade were squarely matched. Jade had grown better at dancing over the past few years, but Beck still had it, scoring combo after combo. Jade's fumble didn't exactly help her either. After three and a half minutes, it was easy to tell who came out on top.

"Yes! I can still kick your butt at this!" Beck shouted. "Still got it."

Jade shook her head. "I won that round."

"I think the higher score means I won."

"No, I won," Jade explained. "Because I got you."

"At that you did."

* * *

**Day 15. Ducks**

"Come on!" Beck groaned.

Jade shook her head and hung tight to the seat. No way. There was no way she was getting out of the car. The only thing worse than a place that had dolphins…was a place that had ducks. But despite Beck weakening as the days went by, he wasn't letting this go. It may have taken a few minutes longer than he wanted, but he pried Jade from the car.

"I hate ducks. Why am I here?"

"You don't hate ducks."

"Yes I do."

"You hate dolphins."

"And I hate ducks."

Beck put his hands together and let everything come on. "Jade, you're going to pet a duck today."

At this, Jade's eyes widened. She high tailed it to Beck's car. She wasn't doing this. Too bad that Beck was faster and cut her off before she could reach her destination.

"Come on, why do you really hate ducks?" he asked.

"They're yellow," Jade finally decided.

"So you're a colorist? Is that it?"

"No."

"Is this about the dolphin?"

Jade stopped dead in her tracks. She turned slowly to Beck, her eyes ready to pop out of her head.

"We are not discussing the dolphin!"

"Well, we can either talk about the dolphin or you can go pet a duck. Which one do you want to do?"

"You're not letting this go, are you?"

Beck shook his head. "Jade, I want you to be able to face your fears when I'm not there. So let's try one while I am here, okay?"

"You are never to mention that dolphin again. Got it?"

Beck nodded his head and led Jade into the petting zoo. No one would have ever imagined see Jade there, not even Beck. He had to take advantage of it while he could. On the way to the corner of the pen where a small group of ducklings were playing in the makeshift pond, Beck grabbed a handful of bread crumbs. What better way to get a duckling than entice it with food?

Jade looked terrified as one of the ducklings came toward Beck, which also meant it was coming toward her.

"Don't pick it up," she stated.

Beck didn't listen. Instead, he brought it over to Jade, cradling the small creature gently.

"Come on, you got to pet it. That's the deal."

Jade tentatively held out a single finger and gave the duck a quick one fingered stroke.

"Okay, I petted the duck. Can we go?"

"Jade, really pet the duck. It's okay?"

Jade shook her head, but that didn't stop Beck from coming even closer to her, still holding the small duckling in his hand. As he held it to meet Jade, the duckling turned and bit his nose. Jade couldn't help but laugh. It served him right.

"Okay, now I see why you don't like ducks," Beck groaned, pinching his nose.

Jade smirked. "I like them now."

* * *

**Day 16. Sleep in a Hammock**

It was a rare occasion for Beck to not be in his RV. It was even a rarer occasion for him to have gone inside his parents' house. But that's where Jade found him: on the back porch of his parents' house, lying in a hammock.

"This isn't like you," she said as she dropped her bag by the door. "You never lie around and do nothing. It's not in your nature."

"I had a bad day, okay?" he snapped. He didn't tell Jade the specifics of going to the doctor. He didn't even want to think about it.

Jade was a bit surprised by Beck's outburst but she didn't let it deter her. She wanted to be with him…all the time. She placed her hand on his, letting him know that it was okay, whatever it might have been that upset him.

But it never would be. Why did this have to happen to him? Why did this have to happen to Jade?

"I'm sorry, let's not fight. I don't want to spend our days fighting."

"I don't either," she whispered. "Did you want to sleep in the hammock? You do look tired."

Beck nodded his head. "I think I do need a nap. Do you think you could um, could you get the blanket from inside? It's a little chilly out here."

Jade had no qualms about getting what Beck needed. Whatever would make Beck more comfortable, Jade was more than willing to do. She laid the blanket over Beck, much like he had done for her when she was sick. But since Beck wasn't contagious sick like she usually was when he took of her, Jade pulled the blanket back just enough so she could get in beside him.

"It's like you read my mind," he said.

"I think you needed this."

"I did. I do."

"Scared about what's to come?"

"A little. More for you than anything else," he admitted.

"Yeah. I know. Well, I don't but, you know."

Beck didn't say anything else. Instead, he wrapped his arm around Jade and held her close.

For both of them.

* * *

**Day 17. Touching**

Beck had found the most amusing way to entertain himself…at Jade's expense. And she did not like it…not one bit.

"I'm not a cat," Jade said. "Stop bopping me on the nose."

Beck didn't.

"Beck, stop."

He continued to bop her on the nose. It was funny to see her get frustrated and frazzled by such a simple action.

"Now you're just asking for it. You need to stop. I'm not kidding anymore."

Still, Beck didn't relent. So Jade took action into her own hands: grabbing Beck's wrists and squeezing them tightly.

"Beck, stop! You're driving me insane!"

"Would you rather me touch something else?"

"If it makes you stop bopping my nose, I don't care what you do. Just stop bopping me on the nose!"

Beck grinned, pulled his wrists free, and got on top of Jade, not allowing her an inch of wiggle room.

"Better?" he asked.

"Maybe."

Beck let his hands run freely over Jade, earning him a wide smile from Jade. Frankly, as long as her nose was being left alone, Jade didn't care where Beck was touching. His fingers still sent chills down her spine in certain locations, and Beck knew exactly where those locations were.

"Better now?"

"Yes."

"Good."

But just for good measure, he bopped her nose one more time.

* * *

**Day 18. Smores**

"Babe, your marshmallow is on fire," Beck said.

Jade pulled back her roasting stick and blew out the three marshmallows, leaving them as black as the night when she was done.

"It's blackened, not burnt. There's a difference," she announced.

Beck took another bite of his third smore as Jade prepared her first. She wanted something decadent, extravagant. A double decker smore seemed like the perfect idea.

"I thought black food meant something was burnt. I mean, it usually does taste burnt."

"How do you know what burnt taste like?"

"Well, I did burn a lot of things learning to cook for you."

"You never served me anything burnt."

"I know. I made sure of that. I was afraid that you would throw it at me if I did. I had to make everything perfect for you."

"You are perfect: you and your imperfections. Taste," she ordered. "I'm telling you, it's not burnt."

Beck took a decently sized bite out of the double graham cracker and triple chocolate smore Jade had created.

"Yep, tastes burnt."

And that's how Beck Oliver ended up with a rather large smore in his perfect hair.

"Still burnt?" she asked.

"Yep."

* * *

**Day 19. Flowers**

Maybe Jade may have gone a little overboard with her purchase.

Okay, Jade had gone extremely overboard with her purchase. Her entire car, floor to ceiling and the entire trunk, was filled with flowers of all kinds.

Beck was still asleep when Jade pulled up to his RV. She used her key to quietly open the door and load up every single bouquet of flowers that she had gotten her hands on. It wasn't until she had brought the last one in and shut the door, that Beck woke up, utterly surprised.

"Jade," he began slowly. "Why is my RV filled with flowers?"

Jade didn't answer. She just looked at all the flowers around her and around Beck.

"Who are you and what have you done with my Jade?"

"I'm still Jade…and you're still Beck. Just a much more flower festive Beck."

"Yeah, I see that. So what's with all the flowers?"

Jade sighed. "I tried to count the times you told me that you loved me. These flowers…they represent only a portion of the number of times you've said it."

Beck looked around his RV, taking the sight in again.

"I saw it a lot, don't I?"

Jade nodded her head. "I don't mind though. I like it when you say it. It always seems to make my day better when you say it."

"Better huh? Because looking at you always makes my day better. Wait, I know I know how to make it even better."

Behind Jade was a bouquet of lilacs. Beck reached over and pulled one of the flowers toward him, breaking it off the stem in the process.

"You broke the lilac," Jade said.

"I don't think so," Beck replied, pushing some of the Jade's hair back behind her head and placing the flower on her ear to hold it all in place. "I think I made it better."

* * *

**Day 20. Paint**

"I'm out of black."

Beck shook his head as he retrieved another bottle of black paint from the supply he had picked up from the craft store that morning. Now he was really glad he decided to pick up a few extra bottles of black. So far, it had been Jade's favorite color to work with. Actually, it had been the only color she had worked with.

And she had never been more focused. She barely noticed the sounds around her or when Beck tried to talk to her.

"Look at me," he demanded.

Jade rolled her eyes and turned to Beck, only to be greeted with a large cerulean blue paintbrush across her face.

"I thought you wanted to paint pictures…not me."

"You are a picture…of perfection. Don't you know that?"

"You remind me of it whenever you get the chance."

"That's because you never believe it."

"Or maybe I just like hearing you say it. Did you ever think of that?"

Honestly, Beck hadn't. "So what are you painting?"

Jade turned her rather large board toward Beck.

"You tell me."

"It's us," Beck whispered. Jade had painted a perfect rendition of her and Beck, and in her favorite position.

"Yeah. I love it when you hold me like that. It always made me feel so important and special."

"You are," he pointed out. He draped his arms over Jade just like she had in the picture. " You should keep it. Hang it in your bedroom or somewhere you'll see it every day."

"I don't know," she admitted. "That doesn't sound like the best idea to be honest."

"Why not?"

"Because then every time I look at it, I'll remember what I won't have."

Beck shook his head. "No, when you see this, you'll remember all the good things about us and all the great memories we've had."

"You think?"

"I know."

* * *

**Day 21. Nightmare**

Beck awoke to find that Jade was not by his side, the way she had been for the past several days. She had given up sleeping at her house, wanting to spend any spare moment she had with Beck. Upon surveying the room, he found her sitting on the floor next to his bed, drinking a rather large cup of coffee.

"How long have you been up?" he asked.

"Almost all night," she said softly, taking another shaky sip of her coffee. She couldn't close her eyes. The image was still too fresh in her head.

"Why didn't you wake me up then? I wouldn't have minded staying up all night with you."

"Because you needed your sleep."

Beck shook his head. "Nothing is more important to me than you are."

"Not even your life?"

"What happened in your nightmare?" Beck asked, changing the subject. He didn't want to talk about his impending death.

"It's stupid," Jade said, hoping he'd let the issue drop.

"No it's not. Jade, if you kept you up all night, it's important. What happened?"

"A big pumpkin made dressed in trash bags tried to kill me," she muttered.

At this, Beck burst out laughing. Jade wasn't afraid of pumpkins. She loved the whole idea of Halloween.

"It wasn't funny! It was scary as hell!"

Beck threw his hands back in defense. "I'm sorry."

Jade's heart continued to race and she leaned against Beck. What if it never stopped? The nightmares?

"Beck, who's gonna fix the nightmares?" Jade quietly asked.

"Who said you're going to have them? Did you ever think that perhaps the reason you have them is because you know I'll always be there to chase them away?"

"You always do."

"And you always will. The thing about dreams is that you will get to see things you don't get to see every day."

"Which means I'll see you. Every single day."

"Exactly…even when you're not having nightmares."

* * *

**Day 22. Jealous**

"Why did you always get so jealous when other people would talk to me? Especially girls?" Beck asked.

"Beck, you were the hottest guy in school."

"Were?"

"You _are_ the hottest guy in school. And everyone thought you could do better than me. I wasn't going to let them take you from me."

"I heard that rumor a few times too."

"Did it ever bother you? What people would say about me?"

Beck nodded his head. "They had no idea who you were and that made me love you even more because I got to know the real you. You're so different when it's only us."

"That's because I can be myself with you. You don't judge. Beck, how come you never got jealous when other guys got around me?" Jade asked.

Jade continued to play with Beck's hand as she waited for her answer.

"I did. But I knew you were mine."

"Be mine forever?"

"Only until scissors take over the world. I'll only be second rate to them."

Jade couldn't stop laughing: the idea of scissors taking over the world.

"Is scissors take over the world…Beck, scissors are never going to take over the world."

"Exactly. So you're mine forever.

"And ever," Jade continued.

"And ever," Beck finished.

* * *

**Day 23. Pick Out Each Other's Outfits**

"Jade, I look absolutely ridiculous," Beck called. For once, they were in her house, mostly because the best way to fulfill that day's activity of picking out outfits for each other was to go to the biggest closet. That was definitely Jade's.

"You're going to have to come out eventually," she pointed out. Beck couldn't hide in the bathroom forever. And if Beck wanted to put her in one of his outfits, it was only fair that he wear one of hers. She was quite content in the plaid shirt and black boxer shorts Beck had asked her to wear. Besides, it was his fault for not laying out ground rules.

"Now do you want to tell me why I'm wearing a dress?"

Jade could only smile for a minute before she shook her head.

"Come on. I told you why you're in that outfit. You look amazing in it. Now tell me why I'm in this one."

Jade took a shaky breath. Of all the things she could say to Beck, it would never been enough. They could live a thousand lifetimes together and it would never be enough.

"Because it's stupid. And it's silly…and…and it's still you. It's cheesy and silly and it…it fits you so perfectly. It really does."

"Does it make you happy?"

Jade smiled.

"As long I don't have to leave your room, I'll wear it. But I'm not going outside in this."

"Do I have to wear yours out?"

"Yes."

Jade scowled. How come she had to wear Beck's choice out, but Beck couldn't wear hers?

"Not fair."

Beck shrugged his shoulders. "It's completely normal for a girl to wear her boyfriend's clothes. It's not so normal the other way around."

"Yeah, but normal's boring and we are not boring."

"Jade, I'm not walking outside in this dress."

"You can't," she began. "You're not wearing the proper foot attire."

She held up a pair of black heels.

* * *

**Day 24. Scrapbooking**

Jade awoke to her cell phone alerting her of a text message.

_Bring anything and everything that reminds you of me and of us. Pictures, objects, I don't care. Bring it all. I'll see you in a little bit. I love you._

She looked around at everything in her room. Nearly everything fit the description Beck had given her. But in her closet was one shoebox, filled with the most important memories she had made with Beck. So when she arrived at Beck's with a single box, Beck was surprised that was all she had brought.

"Well, I thought packing my entire room might be a bit excessive. You're everywhere," Jade explained. "But these are some of the things that I truly cherish."

Beck laughed. "I have a shoebox too."

"Filled with your favorite things of our relationship?"

"Yeah. And now we're going to make a scrapbook out of them. To remember."

And that's what they did all afternoon and into the early evening. There were pages about the dates they had taken, about things they had loved, even an entire page dedicated to their first anniversary. But it wasn't finished it. There was something missing and Jade quickly realized what it was. She reached behind her neck, took off her scissor necklace, and made half a heart with it on the page, around Beck's picture.

"I gave that to you," Beck whispered. "On our first anniversary."

"I know and I'll always treasure it."

"It looks good there but it's not finished," Beck said. He took off his J necklace and placed it on the page, mirroring what Jade had done with her own, but intertwining them at the end. "There. Always together."

* * *

**Day 25. Spaghetti and Meatballs**

"Not again!"

This was the third batch of meatballs he had burned. Not first, not second, _third_.

"Okay, what did I do wrong now?" he mused. He looked over at the recipe he had printed and discovered that he had the temperature on the oven wrong. It was supposed to be 375, not 575. No wonder the meatballs were burnt. How he had managed to make that mistake, he would never know.

What amazed him was that the house hadn't caught on fire in the process. That was the miracle. But then he smelled the faintest odor of smoke. No, that couldn't be right. He looked around the kitchen. No fire. Then why was he smelling smoke?

The timer on the stove went off and Beck pulled the meatballs from the oven. Nope, they hadn't caught on fire. He placed the glass dish on the stove and proceeded to figure out where the smoke was coming from.

The answer was simple: Jade was setting up candles on the table.

"I should have known," he said.

"I thought candles would add a nice touch," Jade said. "Add to the romantic atmosphere you're trying to desperately to create."

"Am I winning?"

"A little."

"Then I imagine food would make it a little better."

"It might."

Beck kissed Jade and pulled her seat out from the table.

"Then allow me to go get your dinner."

"Hurry back."

Beck dashed into the kitchen, but took his sweet time place the final meatballs on the plate, making sure they would be the first thing that Jade would notice.

"You remembered the meatballs," she said as the plates came into view. It looked amazing too, but that might have been because Jade had barely eaten that day.

Beck nodded his head, placed Jade's plate in front of her, and walked around the table with his plate.

"You better not put that on my head, Oliver. I'm warning you now."

"I won't. I promise," he said. He wasn't going to. What he did was use his nose to scoot his last meatball, which was covered with cheese, off his plate and onto Jade's.

"Cheesy," she commented.

"Do you mean me or the actual cheese on the meatball?"

"What do you think?"

Beck thought long and hard about his answer. "I think you mean the cheese."

"Really?"

Jade picked up the meatball with her hand and shoved it right into Beck's mouth.

"You were right. I totally meant the cheese."

* * *

**Day 26. One Last Video**

Beck fiddled with small handheld camera he had borrowed.

"Jade, do you remember when we used to make relationship advice videos for The Slap?"

Jade was sure that she knew what was coming. "I don't want to share you with the rest of the world."

"You don't have to. Not if you don't want to."

"Then why do it at all? Beck, if we make this video, it's…I'm not ready to let go."

"I know. That's why I need to make it."

"For me or for you?"

"For both of us. Jade, I don't care if you have tears running down your face the whole time. We both need this, okay?"

Jade already had tears leaving her eyes. This was going to be hard, but maybe, just maybe she would appreciate it in the long run.

"Ready?" Beck asked, turning the camera on.

"No, but it's okay. It has to be."

Beck turned the camera to face him first as Jade attempted to get herself together.

"I love you to death Jade. I always have and I know…I know this sucks and it's not fair and I could spend hours apologizing but I can't. But I want you to know that you're amazing and you're going to do great things with your life."

Beck turned to face the camera to Jade, who was almost close to bawling at this point.

"You're the most amazing woman I've ever met and you need to know that. You need to remember it. Promise me that you'll never forget that."

Jade shook her head. "I won't. You wouldn't let me if I tried. Can I see the camera?"

As Beck handed the camera to Jade, she pointed it at him. If this video was for both of them, he needed to do something for her too.

"What's your favorite thing about me?" Jade asked softly. "Please?"

"I love everything about you."

"That's a copout answer and you know it. What is it?"

"But I do, Jade. I love everything about you. I love your hair, your eyes, your fashion taste even if people might argue that it's just black clothes but it's not. I love how you don't let things stand in your way. I know I don't say it but I love how jealous you get over me and I love the fact that I know I'm yours. I'll always be yours."

Jade turned the camera off and set it down.

"You've always been mine," she whispered. "And you always will be."

* * *

**Day 27. Kissing**

Jade never wanted to forget the way Beck's lips felt on hers.

She loved how one free hand would tangle in her hair and how his other free hand would support her neck as he was on top of her.

She loved both how soft yet embracing those kisses her and how they were just meant for her. Every kiss was a private moment meant for them to share…to enjoy.

To cherish.

And Jade did. She cherished every kiss, every moment, everything about Beck.

Beck loved every moment of it too.

He loved how Jade's arm would wrap around his neck, letting the world know that he was hers.

And he never wanted to let go of her, not even for a second.

He wanted Jade to remember this moment forever.

He let his passion for Jade get stronger with every kiss, but he never once got aggressive with. He wanted these kisses to be special, much like the first kiss he had ever shared with Jade.

Jade needed to have the most perfect moments to look back on.

And Beck was going to do everything in his power to make that a reality.

* * *

**Day 28. One Last Time**

"Your coffee," Beck said, handing Jade her large black coffee with two sugars. He had never once forgotten how she liked it.

"So," she began, "I was thinking."

Then she stopped talking. She never really had to ask.

"Jade, what is it?"

"I want to feel your body against mine. I want to show you just how much you really do mean to me," Jade whispered. It wasn't seductive, but almost a plea of desperation. There was so much that she wanted to do.

And she didn't know exactly how long she had left with Beck, but she did know that time was running out.

"Great minds think alike."

"You too?"

"Yeah. I didn't ask because I…I didn't want to upset you. Same reasons though."

The fact that this topic hadn't come up sooner was a bit astounding when they both realized it. But when they looked at the bigger picture, it was evident how much they both wanted to be with each other.

How much they both _needed_ to be with each other.

The act of love was more than just that; it was always saying goodbye to each other. But even though the act was sad, Beck did everything in his power to make it the most amazing experience for her.

And he did.

In the end, she felt whole.

Complete.

Perfect.

It was a feeling she wasn't sure if she would ever feel again.

But she still loved every moment of it.

Their two coffee mugs sat on the table, all but forgotten.

* * *

**Day 29. Buying a Bunny**

"I still don't understand why we're at a pet shop. The last time I bought you a pet, it did not end well," Jade stated.

"I know. My dad still hasn't forgiven you."

"And somehow I'm not surprised."

"But at long as you don't hurt me, I think we're in a good place."

Jade cut off Beck and wrapped her arms around him. "I would never hurt you. I hope I haven't."

Beck shook his head. "You've been the most amazing experience of my life. And the only thing I could think of that would make it better was to make a family of it. So we're adopting a bunny!"

"What?"

"You love bunnies."

"That doesn't mean we need to adopt one. I love hyenas but I don't want to adopt one."

But Beck was only half listening. He had already picked up a bunny and it was showing it to Jade.

"Really? Because I liked this one. It looks like he has scissors on his back. It immediately reminded me of you. Besides, look at his face. Who could say no to this cute little face?"

"You did not just use my own video against me."

"I might have."

"You're lucky that it works."

"So we can buy him?"

Jade looked at the bunny and then back at Beck. "Yeah. Let's get him."

Beck handed the bunny to Jade. He immediately took to his new owner, snuggling against Jade's chest.

"So does he stay at my RV or your house?" Beck asked.

"Are you kidding? He's staying at my house. I've seen what you do to fish. The bunny stays with me."

"Can I come visit?"

"He's _our_ bunny. You better visit."

"So I don't have to take you to court for custody?"

"Yes you will. Personally, I would love to see a judge preside over a case of bunny custody."

Beck laughed as he gripped his knuckles tightly. Something felt off. But he didn't want to tell Jade.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine," he replied, but lacking some energy.

Jade knew something was wrong. "Beck, are you okay?"

"Tired but I'm fine. Really."

But he wasn't. As he turned to give her a kiss on the cheek, he collapsed to the floor. He didn't grasp his heart or take down fixtures in the process. He just dropped to the floor…and he didn't get up.

Jade knew what was going on but she didn't want to believe it. She dropped down next to him, still holding the bunny and held his face in her hand. Tears rolled down her face faster in succession.

"Don't leave me. Don't leave me yet. I'm not ready. Beck, please don't. I still need you. I love you. Don't go," she softly cried. She cradled the bunny close and cried into his ears.

Then, everything just stopped for her. She could feel people rushing past her, people shouting, screaming even. But she was frozen. Time hadn't just stopped for Beck. For the moment being, it had stopped for her.

The reality of the situation hadn't though: Beck was gone.

She should have screamed or cried but she was completely numb as the ambulance came and took him away. That image, of him on the gurney in a black body bag, it was never going to leave her.

Jade didn't sleep that night. Instead, she stroked the bunny while lying in bed, telling it stories of how amazing Beck was.

* * *

**Day 30. The Last Adventure**

Jade took another slip of the largest coffee Jet Brew had to offer. She hadn't slept the night before, not to her surprise. What surprised her was that she looked passable to be outside.

Like she had many days before, she went to Beck's RV, even though he wasn't there. But she still had a key. She would always have a key.

Beck's RV looked the same as it did before, not that it surprised her. His shirt was hanging half off the bed, which wasn't even made. It was like he was just there and had stepped out for a little while.

Jade sat the bunny down on the floor and sat on Beck's bed, which was practically half her bed. She didn't have the heart to move anything. She wanted to preserve Beck as much as she could. She wanted to pretend that yesterday's events hadn't happened.

"What do you have?" she asked the bunny, who was eating the edge of a piece of paper. She picked him up and placed him in her lap, revealing a piece of paper. On the other side of the paper was the list she and Beck had made. She glanced over it to see what else was on it but there was only one thing left:

_Let's go to the place where I first said I love you._

Jade bit her lip. She knew exactly where that was.

"Come on," she said, picking the bunny up. "Let's go on a road trip."

It took Jade nearly an hour to get up to the most perfect spot that overlooked the Hollywood sign. It was her and Beck's thing: a reminder of where they were going to go in life. As she got out of the car, it hit her. It hit her so much harder than she ever expected and she dropped to her knees as she sign.

This was their place.

This was the place where Beck had told her that he loved her.

This was the place where Jade realized how hard she had fallen for Beck.

And now…he was gone.

He was gone and he was never coming back.

She stood up and punched the tree.

Again.

And again.

And again.

It would never be enough.

It would never take away the hurt.

It would never take back the loss.

But the last…it loosen some bark, revealing the box that Beck had planted there nearly a month before. It caught Jade's attention. She pulled the bark apart, getting more aggressive with each pull until she could pull the box out.

It fell to the ground and Jade suddenly realized what the key was for when she saw the lock. She rushed back over to her car and dug through her purse until she found it. She fumbled with the lock and the contents spilled out when she finally yanked it open.

The last thing she ever imagined was a bunch of letters. She scrambled to get them up before the wind caught them. Most of them were in no particular order and it would be years before she did open one.

But there was one that she could open now. The four words that were on it though…Jade wasn't sure if she was ready.

_Open when…_

_I'm gone._

But whether she opened it now or in a year's time, she would never really be ready. The only way to heal was to take the first step. She picked up her bunny from car, sat down against, the tree and opened the letter.

Beck was gone, and there was nothing that could be done about that.

But even in death, he was still with her.

He would always be with her.


End file.
